Of Time and Change..

There are so many things that we often see and hear about - sometimes from people around us and some we watch in movies. Some are a given - mothers love, unconditional wife and lovers that always unite. Mostly we just accept that as the order of things - for everyone.

I always wondered if the things that make people emotional and more importantly unconditional in their love or hate will affect me in the same way. Motherhood is one such thing. I watched in awe as expectant mothers strutted in and out of hospitals, diners and movies - the bump looked so beautiful and they were always given special treatment. I couldn't wait to have my own and also dreamed of wearing fashionable maternity wear that would make my bump look cute. How wonderful it must be know that you are going to be a mom - it must be so much fun!

When i finally got pregnant, all my fantasies about pregnancy and maternity wear were put to rest. Its a great honor and privilege being able to grow a baby in your womb- something that is above anything I will ever experience . However, I discovered that while it looks enchanting, its not easy.  All the backaches, mood swings and re-fluxes put all your fancy pregnancy theories to rest. However, in the midst of a bad headache, I would feel a kick and smile; watching a baby would make me long for mine; I would feel happy  that my baby is moving and kicking every time i had an acid re-flux. 

Three years back, this night was the most momentous life of my life. It was the day i would find out what the fuss was about labor and motherhood. I was going to feel the might of what I had only read about and watched in movies up until then. After 14 hours of labor, screaming, crying and waiting, the time finally came.

I remember like it was yesterday, the doctor's voice saying ' congrats Jayshree, you have a beautiful baby boy' as she handed my baby to me.The first part of him that i saw were his feet - until then I had only been kicked by them. I was about to hold the one person in my hands whose size would have no connection whatsoever with his control over me , the only person that could elevate me to a level that is Mother - Thank You Shiv for choosing me - Happy Birthday and God Bless! I love that you are my baby! :)