Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Oh sweet sister of mine...

Having a sister is like having a pet - you have no clue how much it magnifies the quality of your life till you have one. My sister - my twin soul, my personal psychiatrist cum counselor, my mom sometimes, my BFF and most definitely my soul mate - I miss her so much!

Your eyes they see my fears
Your hands break my fall
You hear not only my words
Your heart, it feels my soul!

Oh, I wanna be with you
No husband no children
All alone, just me and you
Life would be perfect then!

I wanna tell you i miss u
That i cant wait to kiss you
Hug you till my heart is full
I wanna tell you i love you!

I wanna have coffee with you
Cook your favorite food for you
I wanna light up a smoke for you
Oh i just wanna be with you..

I wanna lay down next to you
I miss chatting all night with you
Meaninglessly laughing with you
I SO miss holding your finger
I miss sleeping next to you!

My sister my friend my heartbeat
Life would be so boring without you
I miss not having you down the street
I hate living so far away from you!

You get me like nobody ever has
You care for me like i am a baby
You catch my lies, u r badass (;) yes you are)
You don't judge me, u let me be..

You hear the noise in my silence
Feel the hurt behind my strength
Only you can make full sense
Of all i do, in all its lengths..

I thank God for you, hope he showers his choicest blessings on you. I hope he moves you out of that stupid continent, right where i can be with you! Muah! :)
I wish you  would go away
Forget me leave me alone
But with me you always stay
Leaving me sad and forlorn

 You linger around like a cloud
And I just cant shake you off
Oh you must feel so proud
Wish you would just take off!

You have been around so much
that you now feel like a friend
Its a very hard feeling as such
But your time you always lend..

Oh misery,my good old friend
For just a while i ask thee
Can you someone else find
And stay away from me!
To breathe to live to understand..

Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself, to know you are a good person and that you deserve a good life. Sometimes its important that you realize that not everything will work out the way you wanted it to; that what was meant to be will stay and what was not, you have to let go. Its essential you understand that you don't control everything, that people will love you, betray you, hurt you, make you feel special, love you like crazy and forget you - but it has nothing to do with the person that you are. 

Sometimes you have to tell yourself that you are your own person, that you don't need anybody's approval to be good enough;You have nothing to do with the fact that someone rejected you or took you for granted and that it has everything to do with their own insecurities, emotional conjugations and needs. You should not be the only one fighting for love and if you have to, walk away simply because you want to do yourself the favor of trusting yourself to make the right choices. Sometimes its important you realize that trusting yourself is more important that trusting the choice that others make of you.

Sometimes, you should know that not everything is meant to be; not every relationship is going to become something enduring and beautiful. Some people come into your life to make it better just for that moment, to teach us what we can be, to walk a while with us to ease our pain, to sit over drinks and spill our hearts to, to show us that we are beautiful and worthy of love, to make the minutes that we are together something we will never forget and to teach you to love yourself. Some may stay some may leave but you have to keep going and be thankful for what they have given you.

Sometimes you look at a beautiful, wealthy woman dressed to the tee, maids in tow, beautiful children, handsome husband riding in the car of your dreams; maybe she looks like she is living the life of your dreams. Only she knows the battles she is fighting; that the perfect mascara does no justice to her sad eyes, that her red lipstick only reflects how dark and deep her life is, that she is so beautiful she doesn't need makeup but only makeup can hide the lines under her eyes; only she knows her inner demons. I have stopped judging people and their lives by how they look; it does no justice. Unless you have walked in the shoes, don't blame the heels for the pain!

Sometimes its hard to hide, to pretend that everything is rosy, to smile when you don't want to, to march on when all you want to do is break down and cry, to show strength when you feel like you will collapse. I guess you have to un-hide, stop trying to be that ideal person (mom/wife/friend,daughter, employee...), start knowing that all that stress is a result of hiding. Allow yourself the freedom to be weak, to cry when you are sad and to brace up when you have to. Its not easy and I know it!

I may not be the best, but I am trying my best!